Do I Really Want To Be A Student Again??

Sure enough!

Actually, that sure enough sounded a lot more positive than I actually feel. I definitely want to get my master's, but there a lot of pros and cons about the lot of different ways that I could go about doing this. First, I had to decide what I actually want to get a degree in, and I'm still really unsure. Literature is such a passion of mine, but getting my MA in Literature pretty much leaves me with a career in teaching. And recently, teaching has become a profession I don't think I want to be in.

It was a really good option at first, but over the course of the 5 years I have been teaching, my optimism for everything has been in a slow but steady decline. The system I work for is broken, and it is really hard to find the motivation to work for a system that is not working for itself. Also, the students are eating away at my belief in the ability of humanity to save itself. I went into this profession believing that I could change and affect things. I know that I do, but it's not enough.

So I've gone back to what I originally thought that I wanted to be when a grew up: a librarian. Or sort of a librarian, anyway. Librarians are slowly disappearing, so I'd be doing my MLIS (Masters in Library and Information Science) with a concentration in Archives and Preservation. Depending on where I end up going, I may be able to do a dual master's with other programs, like Art History, Children's Literature, Law, Library Science, or American Studies.

One way I could do this is to keep teaching and take night classes. This would be good because then I would still have a steady job, as long as they don't make cuts that apply to me, and a steady paycheck, but I would be taking classes again and on my way. However, I am fairly certain the stress of taking classes and teaching all at once would just about kill me, and I'm pretty impatient when it comes to things I want. Doing a couple classes at night would take me longer than two years and that's not really okay with me. The other problem with this is that, if I were to stay here in Asheville to do this, I would be pigeonholed into taking classes from Western Carolina University at UNCA and having it be either a MA in Literature or Education. I don't really think I want to do either of those things because they leave me in the teaching profession.

Another way would be to do summer programs. Many cool colleges offer programs, essentially for teachers, in the summer. This one actually really appeals to me because many of those programs are not around here, so it would be a lot like traveling during the summer, except I'd be somewhere else and taking classes. I would still have my job (again, given that they don't cut my position), but I wouldn't have to teach and take classes at the same time, so the stress levels would not sky rocket. This choice has the same problem as the last; it would take me something like 4 or 5 summers to do this. That would probably be even longer than the first choice. And unfortunately, it would also pigeonhole me into Literature, again.

The last way is to leave teaching and go back to school full time. Best choice, personally.

Then I had to decide on schools, because this particular degree is actually kind of hard to find. I am applying to UNC Chapel Hill, UT (in Austin), Simmons College (in Boston), San Jose State, and UH Manoa. I would also prefer them in that order. The first three are in the top 10 Library Science schools in the country; the last two are in the top 25 or so.

With the GRE scores I have right now, I will not get into Chapel Hill, UT will be questionable, but Simmons should be good. My grades from UNCA are pretty good, but I need the scores to go up. I'm a better student and a smarter person than I look on paper right now.

The other fear that I have is leaving the job that I have right now, being out of work for two years, and not being able to find a job when I get back. What I'm hoping is that I will be able to go to school for a few years, the issues in our country right now will have turned around, and it won't be that difficult for me to find a good job. Then again, I suppose I can always wait tables. Good waitresses at popular places make more money than teachers anyway.

So there's the story of grad school.

I will say this; my ambitions are high. Daddy said he likes the idea of "my daughter, the doctor" to Renee. I'm definitely thinking about a doctorate too.

A Gentleman's Sport Played By Hooligans...

You may not know this about me, but I used to be a really good soccer player.

I've never stopped playing. I don't actually know if that's true, but I'm pretty sure that it is. I've been playing in the women's adult league here in Asheville for around 5 years I think and finally got up the gumption to attempt the co-ed league.

I've always struggled with co-ed. I am so so happy I did both this year, though.

My women's team this year got new sponsorship at a bar right down the street from the fields and my apartment (bonus). We got this sponsorship because the owner of the bar, an old acquaintance from UNCA, is a soccer player herself and wanted to play. This was a step in a really right direction. Also, we picked up a bunch of really awesome girls this season who I hope stick around.

My captain, and one of the girls I have been playing with for several years, got me onto her co-ed team with three of the other girls from our team and then we added one of the new ones halfway through.

Anyway, this season has been phenomenal. I have a new group of friends who I love. I feel like I should have been friends with them forever. My good friend Brittnye likes to take pictures, so she's taken some at a couple games. This is probably the first picture of me in a soccer uniform since 2001, and the first of me playing soccer since 2004 or so.

Upcoming Things...

Since I have been terrible at blogging for like the last 1/2 a year, here is a list of things I will be blogging about shortly...

-new apartment

-grad school

-new camera and taking pictures

-this soccer season

I think that's it. Not particularly in that order.

New Mexico with The Fam Try #2

So I'm going to try embedding the New Mexico video from facebook since the other one is such crappy quality. Maybe it will just be better to embed it...? We shall see.

New Mexico Trip with the Family

This video quality is terrible. I'm working on it. Don't make it big; it just looks bad.

So way back at the end of June, some of the family and I went to see some heritage and other family in New Mexico. I decided to try a stop motion video of the trip. Here it is.

There are a few places where it doesn't quite work, and the credits roll a bit too quickly (only because I put so much stuff on them), but overall I'm rather proud of myself.

8/18 1985-2010

Top Reasons It Is Awesome My Sister is 25.

She’s still got a lot of time to live in fun places I can go visit.

Now she is the same age I “was” at a bar in Nice!

And are both finally closer to thirty than we are to twenty! Misery loves company!

If we ever have to rent a car, she can still do the driving and I can still do the drinking!

Catching a Laina-saurus is still just as funny as it was when she was 24.

In dog years, she’s still only 3 ½, and she sure was a cute 3 ½ year old.

25 won’t stop us from going to things like Finding Nemo and The Princess and The Frog in theatres!

She is still in school, which leads me to believe one day she’ll be able to repay me.

If she is 25, then Zak must be almost 21!

It’s unlikely that this will cause her to stop randomly translating what I say into French just for practice.

She’s still going to love the card and present I sent to Boston so it will be there waiting on her.

She’ll still be able to drink her weight in iced coffee.

We will all still hear the words “inappropriate” and “unfortunate” at the most opportune moments.

Ok, seriously. That list was fun and all, but there’s too much stuff on there that involves all of us, and really, it’s her birthday. My sister is the best. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be stuck between me and Zak, but Renée does it. And loves it. She does whatever she wants, or whatever other people want, and is happy. She can hang out with anyone, talk to anyone, and quickly become basic friends with anyone. A good example of this: she came up to Asheville a few weekends ago and was forced to hang out with me and a bunch of people I had just run through the water drainage system with for like 6 hours. She pulled it off just fine. She has so many friends. Beyond that, she has close friends everywhere. Renée has been in more weddings than anyone I know and probably will ever know. She handles horrid situations with grace and poise and is fantastic at making everyone else comfortable. She’s always got your back, even when you’re wrong, and even though she says I’m the smartest a lot, I’m pretty sure she is a lot smarter than I am.

My sister is one of the funniest people I know and I wish we weren’t both so damn busy so we could talk and text more often. Renée is also one of the most responsible and mature people I know. She is both respectful and respectable. She listens to great music, because she’ll take mine, Dad’s, and Zak’s advice on it, but also go off and find her own. She is open to any possibility.

It is shocking to me to know how much she has changed in the 25 years that I have known her. This is neither good nor bad, though I’m sure in some way, she’d say it’s only good. I simply mean that it is so interesting to see the progression that she has gone through to become the incredible woman that she is today. It’s hard to even remember sometimes that she’s had several unfortunate haircuts when now she is always gorgeous, or that she once punched a boy in the face for being a jerk when now…well I guess if he really deserved it, she’d probably still do that. It’s hard to recall what her voice used to sound like, which is why we call them Laina-sauruses and not Renée-osauruses, when now she is so well spoken and eloquent. I still giggle when I think of some of the nicknames she gave herself and the ones she grudgingly embraced, when now her beautiful name fits her so perfectly.

I am in so many ways jealous of my sister. She followed in a lot of my footsteps and then suddenly branched out. But it’s more a sense of pride than anything. I love knowing I have seen the entire life of this beautiful person.

I got back to myself there for a minute. Forgive me.

If you know my sister, count yourself among the lucky ones. I do.

Happy birthday, Renée Alaia. I love you.

I Got Crappy At This...

So lots of things have been happening and that's one of the reasons that I haven't updated. School ended, and normally that would have been something to excite me enough to blog about it, but around the same time, the rates for tv and internet went up by a whole bunch. I was not entirely prepared for this but could have handled it. My roommate could not. In hindsight, I just shouldn't have told her, let her continue paying what she had been, and eaten the extra just so that I wouldn't be so damn bored. I just didn't care that much since we would both be moving fairly soon anyway.

Thus, I've been getting my internet fixes by using the various wifi spots around town. Kind of fun and interesting actually...

Anyhow, lots of fun things have happened. My birthday was spent in Charleston. Friday was spent at the beach and Saturday was spent at a beer festival and baseball game. It was great.

Here's the whole group that went. And no, the beer festival was not a bud light festival. Tickets to the beer festival included a ticket to the baseball game immediately following, where their cheap beer was attractive to our drunken minds.

So you know, that is my friend Liz, the one who works for US Customs in Charleston and whom I had to do an interview for with the Department of Homeland Security. She got the job and is now way closer to me than Africa or Milwaukee, which is wear she was before.

The only major thing that I've done this summer so far is go to New Mexico with the family.

Here are some random pictures from that trip.

Mom and Lita and White Sands.

Mom eats a hot pepper; Dad laughs.

Dad finds a cowboy sombrero he likes; Mom refuses to let him buy it.

Other stuff that has happened:

I wrecked my beloved Honda Civic Hybrid. Again. I had to get a rental for a few days, then Mom, Dad, and Zak were kind enough to bring me the jeep. Since Renee is home for the summer, I couldn't keep the jeep indefinitely, and had to get another rental once we got back from NM. My car should be ready by the end of the week, just in time for some craziness to get started.

"Craziness" would be defined as moving. Again. I've lost count of how often I've moved in the last couple of years. They've all been for very good reasons, but it's getting old. On a positive, at this point, I think that I've consolidated my stuff pretty well and that it should be easy except for the big stuff that I accrued when I lived alone. Except for how hard it is to move stuff like that, I feel like I could move at the drop of a dime if I had to. The lease technically starts on Friday, and I will be taking a bunch of stuff on Friday, but will have to wait until next week to start getting the big stuff. Bonus on that: moving small stuff is easy for me because I have 4 of those huge tupperware/storage containers full of school shoes, blankets, etc., so I take them to the apartment, throw the stuff that's in there somewhere out of the way, take the empty storage bins back to the old place, fill them up with other stuff (movies, books, more blankets), and take them back.

On another positive, I have a pool again, and thank goodness! As it turns out, spending my summer reading and doing nothing isn't as much fun if I don't have a pool. At least the second half of my summer will be a little more enjoyable, and probably a little more tan.

Which brings me to an admission of seriously embarrassing proportions. At the end of each school year, or at least for the last 2-3, I have not had cable and have gotten by with my HD digital antenna, which actually works quite well despite only picking up about 6 channels. This of course forces me to watch some crap sometimes. One of those things has become a re-occurring end of year theme; I grade papers and watch the auditions for America's Got Talent. DON'T JUDGE ME. I've never made it through the entire season; I only like watching the auditions. Anyway, for some reason this season has really gotten to me and I think it's because they keep sending CRAP through. Seriously. I won't go into because then you probably will judge me, but the judges have sent through some ridiculous acts and left out some really good ones.

Alright, I think that's it.