Weeeeell now it will just seem like I'm bragging...

Go here and here.

Back in December, I applied for a graduate student assistantship on campus through the North Carolina Digital Heritage Center and LearnNC (that would be those links up there, respectively). The NCDHC digitizes resources and documents about, surprise, NC history and whatnot. LearnNC is an organization that creates and opens access to things that help educators in NC do their jobs. Basically, the DHC wanted someone to create curriculum materials for their resources to let educators in on the awesomeness that is the DHC, and LearnNC would be the place for those materials to be accessed by educators.

Long story short, I got the job.

And now they're paying my tuition this semester.

Here's hoping I do a good enough job that they want to find another assistantship to put me in next year. :)

Grad School is Hard.

Dear Laina from 10 months ago,

You clearly wanted to get into Carolina. It's a good thing you like reading, writing, prezi.com, google docs, and typing. Here's hoping it stays that way, and you continue not minding working for 11 hours straight on a Sunday.

Love,

present Laina

First Day of School, First Day of School... (ala Nemo)

Okay. Let's be honest. I was NOT excited about my first day of school like Nemo was. In fact, I spent much of the time leading up to the first day wondering, seriously, whether I had made the right choice in leaving a pretty good job (read: I made money) and going back to school.

I had no idea. I rather doubted it actually.

But today, the third day of school, I remembered how much I love being a student. And I think it's going to be okay.

Do I Really Want To Be A Student Again??

Sure enough!

Actually, that sure enough sounded a lot more positive than I actually feel. I definitely want to get my master's, but there a lot of pros and cons about the lot of different ways that I could go about doing this. First, I had to decide what I actually want to get a degree in, and I'm still really unsure. Literature is such a passion of mine, but getting my MA in Literature pretty much leaves me with a career in teaching. And recently, teaching has become a profession I don't think I want to be in.

It was a really good option at first, but over the course of the 5 years I have been teaching, my optimism for everything has been in a slow but steady decline. The system I work for is broken, and it is really hard to find the motivation to work for a system that is not working for itself. Also, the students are eating away at my belief in the ability of humanity to save itself. I went into this profession believing that I could change and affect things. I know that I do, but it's not enough.

So I've gone back to what I originally thought that I wanted to be when a grew up: a librarian. Or sort of a librarian, anyway. Librarians are slowly disappearing, so I'd be doing my MLIS (Masters in Library and Information Science) with a concentration in Archives and Preservation. Depending on where I end up going, I may be able to do a dual master's with other programs, like Art History, Children's Literature, Law, Library Science, or American Studies.

One way I could do this is to keep teaching and take night classes. This would be good because then I would still have a steady job, as long as they don't make cuts that apply to me, and a steady paycheck, but I would be taking classes again and on my way. However, I am fairly certain the stress of taking classes and teaching all at once would just about kill me, and I'm pretty impatient when it comes to things I want. Doing a couple classes at night would take me longer than two years and that's not really okay with me. The other problem with this is that, if I were to stay here in Asheville to do this, I would be pigeonholed into taking classes from Western Carolina University at UNCA and having it be either a MA in Literature or Education. I don't really think I want to do either of those things because they leave me in the teaching profession.

Another way would be to do summer programs. Many cool colleges offer programs, essentially for teachers, in the summer. This one actually really appeals to me because many of those programs are not around here, so it would be a lot like traveling during the summer, except I'd be somewhere else and taking classes. I would still have my job (again, given that they don't cut my position), but I wouldn't have to teach and take classes at the same time, so the stress levels would not sky rocket. This choice has the same problem as the last; it would take me something like 4 or 5 summers to do this. That would probably be even longer than the first choice. And unfortunately, it would also pigeonhole me into Literature, again.

The last way is to leave teaching and go back to school full time. Best choice, personally.

Then I had to decide on schools, because this particular degree is actually kind of hard to find. I am applying to UNC Chapel Hill, UT (in Austin), Simmons College (in Boston), San Jose State, and UH Manoa. I would also prefer them in that order. The first three are in the top 10 Library Science schools in the country; the last two are in the top 25 or so.

With the GRE scores I have right now, I will not get into Chapel Hill, UT will be questionable, but Simmons should be good. My grades from UNCA are pretty good, but I need the scores to go up. I'm a better student and a smarter person than I look on paper right now.

The other fear that I have is leaving the job that I have right now, being out of work for two years, and not being able to find a job when I get back. What I'm hoping is that I will be able to go to school for a few years, the issues in our country right now will have turned around, and it won't be that difficult for me to find a good job. Then again, I suppose I can always wait tables. Good waitresses at popular places make more money than teachers anyway.

So there's the story of grad school.

I will say this; my ambitions are high. Daddy said he likes the idea of "my daughter, the doctor" to Renee. I'm definitely thinking about a doctorate too.

The Sun Will Come Out...

TOMORROW!

Tomorrow is going to be a really good day. I took a personal day so I could take the GRE!! Hurray! And then I will be driving to Charlotte to see one of my favorite bands, Flogging Molly, with Zak, his girlfriend, and a bunch of my friends who I either know will be there or I am quite sure will be there. Jim unfortunately has no ticket as of right now and I have been unable to acquire one for him. I am sad about this but am assuming the combination of having successfully completed the GRE, FM, Zak, and the friends who will be there will keep me happy until we can meet up afterwards. My other friends Will and Brandy have already agreed to meet up after the show.

In fact, it's going to be a good weekend, but I won't ruin a future blog by blogging it before it happens.

Anyhow, I am taking the GRE, obviously, so that I can go to grad school. I won't be going until next fall, Fall 2011, because of a very important decision involving health care, but I'm looking into how I could start taking classes here in Asheville and have them transfer. I have no idea if that will work out at all.

I have not really started looking at specific schools, but I'm considering looking in Boston to be near Renee and I kind of love Boston, Atlanta to be near Amanda and because it would be fun, and California just to go back to CA and be near family and duh, it's California. I am, of course, also considering some "fall back" schools here in NC. I could totally go to a school at the beach. I also have friends at Appalachian State right now and I suppose it would be kind of nice to go where friends are already.

To summarize: It's all pretty much up in the air.

On unrelated notes, my dog will not stop whining at me to let him out because he has spotted a squirrel. And I need a good book to read. Suggestions?