I'm Either Teaching or Thinking About Teaching

It's so true.  It takes up so much of my time.

I have a student teacher this semester.  I was very excited about this at first, but as time has gone on, I have started struggling with this pretty massively.

It's really hard to watch someone else teach students that I have been working with for about seven months.  Different teachers have different ways of going about things.  Trust me, I completely get that.  It's the same as students having different needs.  I try to be understanding and find the good in everything.

But my student teacher's way of going about things gives me a headache.

He's very much about teaching Literature (yes, capital "L").  He is really smart and philosophical and enjoys the content he is teaching (read: he was a legit Lit major, unlike myself, which means that he has read every thing ever written and enjoys the really hard things most, whereas I got away with reading mostly just the things I enjoyed).

The unfortunate part of this is that it doesn't really work for 9th graders.  I don't teach Literature; I teach reading.  I would love for my students to see the relationship between what happens to Jem Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird and Blake's Songs of Innocence and Experience (poems).  In reality, I don't understand Blake's Songs of Innocence and Experience...because they are seriously god awful boring.  And if I, who love reading most of the time, think they are boring, then please take a moment and think about how a 9th grade boy might feel about them.

I also think that he had no idea how much outside-of-the-classroom work goes into teaching.  Here's my schedule this week: I had a meeting today that took up 1/2 of my planning period and then another from 3 pm til 4:30; tomorrow I am giving the 10th grade writing test during my entire planning period; Wednesday I have two parent teacher conferences that will take up all of my planning period again; and on Friday, I have another parent teacher conference during 1/2 of my planning period.  That means that Thursday is the only day this week that I will have a full planning period.  There's also things like taking attendance and sending weekly numbers in, making copies and transparencies, faculty meetings, remembering which students get modifications, and grading papers, not to mention the very babysitter and mother like things that teachers have to step in and do.

His level of professionalism leaves something to be desired as well.  He wore the same outfit for the first three weeks or so, and it didn't seem to have been put together with the idea of a career in mind.  We had a conversation about dressing professionally, and what I'm getting from him now is the same outfit every day, but it's at least a button up shirt.

Also, my student teacher lacks classroom management skills.  This is the part that really gives me a headache.  He is constantly yelling over students instead of having them be quiet.  He lets them be all over the room and yell at each other and talk while he is talking.  I'm not saying they always have to be in seats and not talking; far be it from me to say my classes are perfectly managed.  I'm a big believer in balance, and I always try to have a good balance of quiet sitting time and talkative moving time.  Honestly, I'm afraid of taking the classes back because they're going to be ridiculous, and it's likely that I will be writing a lot of referrals and driving myself crazy trying to reteach them how to sit down and be quiet when they need to do so.

He is doing some good things.  I think that new teachers have such an "innocent" view of what students can and cannot do and also will or will not do and are therefore more willing to try things that may end up crashing and burning.  They're often the kind of things that I just mentioned, like some of William Blake's most intensely boring poems.  Those kinds of things work occasionally and make the students have to think and work harder than normal.  My student teacher is really willing to try things that I would normally say are WAY over the students heads.  And yes, they fail miserably sometimes, but he has had some good successes, especially in the Honors class.

He is also good at connecting with the students.  They really like him, though I'm unsure the reason for that and am not entirely convinced that it's a good reason.

I am kind of wondering if my headache is coming because I rather miss teaching my own classes...

The Department of Homeland Security Came to My House

My phone rang on Monday morning, and, as it was a number I did not recognize, I let it go to voicemail. I checked the voicemail later that afternoon when my student teacher was teaching. Here's a transcript of that voicemail with my own thoughts included in italics:

"Hi (he mispronounced my name horribly, but in a recognizable manner), this is so and so. I work for the Department of Homeland Security. WHAT? OHMYGOD What did I do? OH MY GOD HOLY CRAP I'm in trouble. We need to come in to interview you. We are doing a background check on someone you probably know. WHAT? No I don't know anyone Homeland Security would be checking up on! No. Big mistake. Oh my god. It says here you've known this person since 1997. WHAT? No! No one I have known that long needs to be dealing with Homeland Security. Oh my god. Her name is ** and I don't know how to pronounce this last name but it looks like Lacks uh goo. (At this point I did actually laugh out loud, because I know how much Liz loves her last name being butchered.) Oh Bartholomew was applying for that government position a couple of months ago and told me she would need verification of living situations. Duh. Wow, Lou. Nice freakout. If you could just give me a call back at your earliest convenience, my number is...


Anyway, I hang up and call the guy back; we talk briefly about how I know Bartholomew and set up an interview for the next morning. Cue snow. In fact, we haven't had school since Monday. He called me back this morning and just came by the house to conduct his interview.

I was asked to verify a bunch of things I didn't quite remember, like Bartholomew working in the Asheville Mall and living in a house on Edgewood. I didn't remember her working in the mall at all until the guy said it was at The Children's Place and I vaguely recalled that. When he said "Edgewood," I said "The apartments near campus?" He said no and described it as a house that had been split into apartments and that triggered a memory and I said this, appropriateness apparently no matter to me:

"Oh I remember that, but not because I ever visited her there. She told me once she was living in a house with a professor from UNCA" Yes, he says and starts flipping through his notes to find his name. "His name was Seamus McNerney. Seamus Patrick McNerney, born on St. Patrick's Day actually." Sounds like a good Irishman. Was he a good professor? I pause because McNerney was one of my favorite professors, but not for very good reasons. Like any good Irishman, he drank whiskey out of his coffee mug during every class. He also gave me an A when I did not deserve it. I go with "Yeah I really liked him." Is he still at UNCA? I pause again because I'm not sure if looking up McNerney to ask about Bartholomew is a good idea. I went with complete honesty: "Actually, I have no idea (I don't.) But I heard he was really sick a few years ago (I did, from Liz. Apparently, the alcohol was slowly killing him)." I guess this was good enough information since someone else, possibly Liz, had mentioned McNerney and me remembering that he was there in that house without him prompting probably verifies that she did in fact live there, which I think was the whole point.

He never asked me about when we actually lived together except to ask if there were any drug, alcohol, or financial problems. I laughed. Probably also not appropriate. Liz did not enjoy my drinking habits at all when we lived together. She got over it eventually, but I was definitely the "bad" roommate.

Everything else was stuff basically along the lines of "Do you think that this person will betray her country?" It actually felt a little contrived, but that's probably because I don't really think about things like betraying your country. I guess I've never dealt with the government or anyone from the government that closely so it was kind of intimidating. He even showed me his badge when he came in.

One thing that did bother me a little is that he asked about foreign travel, and how much she had done and where. It seemed to be a matter of interest in "foreign governments." Scary. If I ever apply for a government position, they will probably not accept me solely based on the fact that I've been to France on four separate occasions, that my sister lived there, that I studied in England, have taken students to Germany, Italy, and Switzerland, backpacked in Costa Rica, that I have an uncle in Holland, that I'm taking more students to England, Wales, and Ireland, that I have plans to go to as many places as possible in my lifetime, especially on summers when there is a World Cup, and that my family is from California, because, let's admit it, California is kind of like a foreign country (all those damned hippies and Mexicans.) My sole saving grace would be that my grandfather was in the Air Force (Go America!) and that he instilled in me a love of seeing foreign places and cultures at a young age, I just never had the desire to fight for my country to do it.

The worst part was him actually coming to the house. I had to run around the house hiding all my questionable literary material and marijuana.

KIDDING!

Luckily, I Can't Kill a Student Today

Not that I would, really.  But I will take ridiculous pleasure in meeting with a certain student's parents or guardians, a guidance counselor, and an assistant principal as soon as possible to discuss the fact that this student...well, I shouldn't say bad things about students.

So we have yet another snow filled day on our hands here, and we are, unfortunately, going to make up this day by going to school on Saturday.  I've decided the only way to deal with this is to have a good attitude.  The silver lining WAS that my student teacher had already told me that if we did have to have school this weekend, he wouldn't be able to make it, meaning I would get to teach all of my classes again.

I am oddly excited about this.

Anyway, this is no longer the silver lining.  These kids are so lucky we aren't in school today because I am super angry.  And they're definitely unlucky that we will still have four days of school this week.

About a month ago, I had the students do essays on Romeo and Juliet (yes I know, a month ago.  Don't  judge me).  When we are learning to write essays, we start off with me giving them just about everything and them just filling in the examples and their own analysis.  I call them Fill in the Blank Essay Assignments.  It usually makes their grades on them better than if I just gave them the topic.  Over the course of the year, we work our way all the way down to them writing their own whole essay!  Amazing!

So I'm reading essays and they're pretty bad, so in my head as I am doing this, I am brainstorming ways to fix it this year and different things I can try next year.  I get to an essay from a child who came in for help on his essay the week before he turned it in.  What he brought to me was clearly copied directly off the internet.  I read one paragraph of his six page monstrosity (I don't give the kids page limits, but this essay should be about 2 pages) and didn't even bother with the rest.  I told him it was clear this was not his own work as it was not on topic at all and obviously not his own writing.  I refused to give him the extra credit he was looking for, went over the assignment with him again, and sent him packing with what I assumed was his tail between his legs.

As it turns out, he was not at all phased and on top of that, he thinks I am an idiot.  He turned in the exact same "essay."  I took a few minutes to look at it because anytime this happens (plagiarism, not their own work), I actually take the time to find the essay on the internet so that I can call the student's parents or guardians and have the proof that I have good reason to be giving them a zero on the assignment.

A zero on the assignment is not a good enough punishment.  I think they deserve to fail the grading period, if not the class.  In college, they kick you out.  I digress.

As I'm looking at this essay and googling sentences from it to find the source, I start realizing that he didn't use one essay, he used FOUR.  He used a whole essay for each different paragraph except for his conclusion.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  What's most ridiculous about this is that when you put them all together, they make nothing but NONSENSE.

The topic was to explain how Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy by writing one paragraph about how Juliet is heroic, one paragraph about how Romeo is heroic, and one about how fate takes control of their destinies and they can't avoid their deaths at all.  THIS IS SO NOT A HARD ASSIGNMENT.  He could have written straight crap and gotten a D.  In fact, I put a D on a straight crap paper a few minutes before reading this one.  Instead, this student's first "paragraph" is an essay from the internet about what strategies Shakespeare uses while writing his tragedy.  It's actually a good essay structurally.  It's got an intro with a thesis that states the three examples of strategies he uses that are then going to become the three body paragraphs.  And now he's got a zero.

Earlier today, I was commiserating about how being excited to have all my classes back for just one day would suggest that going to grad school for library science would really hinder my ability to teach.  Now, I am struggling with the thought that I am going to have to teach students like this for one more year before being able to go back to school to do something else.  I know I will forget all about this eventually, but things like this are a really good, quick way of hurting my feelings.  Ugh.

By the by, it's ridiculously easy to find these essays online; all you have to do is google a sort of unique sentence.  Try it.  Google "Friar John was quarantined so the letter could not reach Romeo."  The essay this student used for his first paragraph is the third hit.

It's Possible that I Live for Weekends

This past weekend I went down to Charlotte, mostly because I had tickets to two different concerts, but also to see my family of course. I think I may have mentioned this already, but it turned out to be another really great weekend so I'm just going to keep on keeping on.

Friday night, I had tickets to Flogging Molly (sorry sister!) at the Fillmore. They opened a new music place in downtown Charlotte last year. I got to see The Offspring at the outdoor amphitheater part of it last summer, but this was my chance to see the indoor venue, the Fillmore. I really can't complain about either venue in and of itself. The outdoor amphitheater is actually kind of perfect for any band you really want to see outside, but that wouldn't fill up a huge pavilion like place. The Fillmore was pretty well thought out and put together. There are plenty of bars and you can see from pretty much anywhere. All of that said, my biggest complaint about the place as a whole is the price of alcohol. A small fill-in-the-blank-here-with-some-crappy-beer is $9! WHAAAAAAAT?!?!?!

When we went to see The Offspring, we just tailgated in the parking lot beforehand. This actually did not go over that well as it just made me want more beer when we got in to the show and I ended up spending more money than I should have. This was not the result of drinking in the parking lot I had anticipated.

This time we had no such plan, but that turned out well because sober me cannot justify paying that much for beer while drunk me just wants more, apparently, and cost has no meaning. I had a solid one beer.

But Flogging Molly was fantastic and I'm fairly certain it's the best FM show I've seen. Zak, his girlfriend, and his friend Sean also really enjoyed themselves. I met up with Jim and some other friends afterwards for a little while.

The weather for the weekend was also fantastic, so on Saturday, I did a hike up Crowders Mountain and picnicked at the top. It was a seriously beautiful day. I took Jack as well and discovered that he's not much of a fun of rock jumping or heights. I had to lift him over some stuff. Someone actually asked if I needed help at one point. It was kind of funny. It's a pretty hard hike, but it was well worth it.

Here's Jack on top of the mountain. Please notice that's it the only mountain around for miles. I didn't even know it existed, honestly.

Sunday was also a really beautiful day, so I thoroughly enjoyed my drive back to Asheville, especially since I was well aware that this was just one of those random times when the weather is pretty for no reason other than to make me think spring has sprung and then dash all of my hopes and excitement by snowing again several days later.

And because it's hilarious, here's Jack looking out the back window of the jeep. It's not quite warm enough to take the top off, but Saturday was warm enough to put the back window up, but not have all the front windows down. Jack was okay with that.

The Sun Will Come Out...

TOMORROW!

Tomorrow is going to be a really good day. I took a personal day so I could take the GRE!! Hurray! And then I will be driving to Charlotte to see one of my favorite bands, Flogging Molly, with Zak, his girlfriend, and a bunch of my friends who I either know will be there or I am quite sure will be there. Jim unfortunately has no ticket as of right now and I have been unable to acquire one for him. I am sad about this but am assuming the combination of having successfully completed the GRE, FM, Zak, and the friends who will be there will keep me happy until we can meet up afterwards. My other friends Will and Brandy have already agreed to meet up after the show.

In fact, it's going to be a good weekend, but I won't ruin a future blog by blogging it before it happens.

Anyhow, I am taking the GRE, obviously, so that I can go to grad school. I won't be going until next fall, Fall 2011, because of a very important decision involving health care, but I'm looking into how I could start taking classes here in Asheville and have them transfer. I have no idea if that will work out at all.

I have not really started looking at specific schools, but I'm considering looking in Boston to be near Renee and I kind of love Boston, Atlanta to be near Amanda and because it would be fun, and California just to go back to CA and be near family and duh, it's California. I am, of course, also considering some "fall back" schools here in NC. I could totally go to a school at the beach. I also have friends at Appalachian State right now and I suppose it would be kind of nice to go where friends are already.

To summarize: It's all pretty much up in the air.

On unrelated notes, my dog will not stop whining at me to let him out because he has spotted a squirrel. And I need a good book to read. Suggestions?

I Love My Sister

Renee surprises me constantly. She always surprises me in a good way, but every now and then, it's not only good, it's also hilarious. This just happened:

7:28 - I see that Renee is calling and get excited. We're both so busy that we rarely have time to talk.

7:28 1/2 - Hello? Hello? Reneeeeeeeeee? She beeps when I am supposedly already connected to her.

7:28 3/4 - I say "Hey. That was funny. You beeped in on a call I was having with you."

7:29 - Jane: "Stoptalkingineedyourhelpohmygodthetoiletisfloodinghowdoistopthetoiletfromflooding?!?!"

This continues. Basically, her bathroom is flooded and there is still water coming out of the toilet.

7:30 - I tell Renee to open the top of the toilet and make sure the hole the water goes down through is covered up to stop the toilet from running.

7:30 - "OHMYGOD is the top of the toilet supposed to be filling up with water?"

7:31 - "Why would I know how toilets work?"

7:32 - The toilet has stopped running and therefore stopped leaking water onto the floor.

7:32 1/2 - "This is so not what I wanted to have happen tonight. I have wine and junk food and I probably don't have to go to school in the morning."

7:33 - Renee informs me that she called everyone she could think of, including her ex-boyfriend, and no one answered. I am offended that she did not call me before her ex-boyfriend. She says she didn't think I would know any more about toilets than she does. Then she says "Do you think paper towels are okay to clean this up with?" Then, "We don't even own a mop."

7:34 - She settles on using her yoga towels to mop up the water after I convince her that toilet water is not the same as sewage water.

7:40 - We have been chatting and catching up when I have her go back to the toilet to try flushing it to see if it's just a problem with the handle or something.

7:41 - "Oh my god it's flooding the bathroom again!"

7:42 - I instruct her to again make sure the rubber stopper is covering the hole and then ask if the toilet bowl is full of water. Response? "I can't see it; I left the top covering the bowl." It was, of course, and I end up explaining how a toilet actually works, where the water comes from, etc.

7:43 - "This is why I need a boyfriend! Seriously."

7:45 - "Maybe you should try plunging the toilet. I think that's the only way at this point to get the toilet to flush without filling it back up with water and flooding again. You need to get that water out of the bowl." This fails to work.

7:45 - Renee's solution? "I'm just going to clean up the water and wait for someone else to come home and take care of this."

I can't believe my sister had no idea what to even look at when the toilet flooded. Seriously.

Throughout all of this, I was attempting to make dinner (veggie chili) and do laundry. Let me explain why this is kind of a big deal; the washing machine that our landlord provides in the house is the oldest washing machine I have ever seen. I'm not exaggerating. You know those stores you see sometimes that house old electronic stuff and often have a bunch of old stoves, refrigerators, washers and the like just piled up all willy nilly? Those stores kind of intimidate me. Our washing machine is very much like what you see in those stores.

Anyway, our washing machine also doesn't work quite right. It works, but you have to shut it off, turn the knob to the next thing, and turn it back on. It doesn't go through all the motions on its own. It also makes a TON of noise, especially anytime it is spinning. It kind of shakes the whole house. This freaks my dog out.

Normally, Jack is out, running around, playing, or looking out the window for a cat or squirrel to bark at, but he responds very much to my emotions. If I'm on the phone with Renee and my voice is somewhat frantic, he will lose it a little bit and hide under the bed. The combination of me being somewhat frantic and the washing machine shaking the whole house reduced him to this:

He is as far under the futon as he could possibly be, back against the wall, on a blanket that he must have pulled under there with him. Do please observe that he also took his favorite toy with him on his retreat. It's like his own personal survival kit: a blanket and a toy. It's been about an hour and a half now and I still can't make him get up and come out, which is crazy because he never goes under the futon except for a second if a toy got tossed under it inadvertently. He also very rarely goes this long without being next to me or following me around as any of my friends can tell you. He is a little attached.

I guess he is really upset about Renee's toilet.

Dear Whoever Did This To Me,

Whoever you are, you suck.

The powers that be cancelled school today and have already called it off for tomorrow as well. Don't get me wrong; I appreciate the unexpected days off. The problem is that someone messed up somewhere and even though we have only had 4 days off because of snow, they are already taking away our Spring Break.

Last year, we probably ended up having at least 7 or 8 days off and they never even touched Spring Break.

What happened is that for whatever reason, our school system didn't receive some "waiver" from the state that allowed us to start before August 25 or go past June 10. So we started later than normal and have to end on June 10. Our calendar for this school year already goes to June 10, so we cannot add school days to the end of the school year. Thus, good bye Spring Break, as you are the only thing they have left to use to make up days. Tomorrow will take one day from it, and any other days we miss because of weather will continue to take days until there are no more to take.

Oh wait. Spring Break isn't the only thing they have left to use to make up days. There's always all the Saturdays left in the school year!

Bite me, powers that be! Bite me!