I Love My Sister

Renee surprises me constantly. She always surprises me in a good way, but every now and then, it's not only good, it's also hilarious. This just happened:

7:28 - I see that Renee is calling and get excited. We're both so busy that we rarely have time to talk.

7:28 1/2 - Hello? Hello? Reneeeeeeeeee? She beeps when I am supposedly already connected to her.

7:28 3/4 - I say "Hey. That was funny. You beeped in on a call I was having with you."

7:29 - Jane: "Stoptalkingineedyourhelpohmygodthetoiletisfloodinghowdoistopthetoiletfromflooding?!?!"

This continues. Basically, her bathroom is flooded and there is still water coming out of the toilet.

7:30 - I tell Renee to open the top of the toilet and make sure the hole the water goes down through is covered up to stop the toilet from running.

7:30 - "OHMYGOD is the top of the toilet supposed to be filling up with water?"

7:31 - "Why would I know how toilets work?"

7:32 - The toilet has stopped running and therefore stopped leaking water onto the floor.

7:32 1/2 - "This is so not what I wanted to have happen tonight. I have wine and junk food and I probably don't have to go to school in the morning."

7:33 - Renee informs me that she called everyone she could think of, including her ex-boyfriend, and no one answered. I am offended that she did not call me before her ex-boyfriend. She says she didn't think I would know any more about toilets than she does. Then she says "Do you think paper towels are okay to clean this up with?" Then, "We don't even own a mop."

7:34 - She settles on using her yoga towels to mop up the water after I convince her that toilet water is not the same as sewage water.

7:40 - We have been chatting and catching up when I have her go back to the toilet to try flushing it to see if it's just a problem with the handle or something.

7:41 - "Oh my god it's flooding the bathroom again!"

7:42 - I instruct her to again make sure the rubber stopper is covering the hole and then ask if the toilet bowl is full of water. Response? "I can't see it; I left the top covering the bowl." It was, of course, and I end up explaining how a toilet actually works, where the water comes from, etc.

7:43 - "This is why I need a boyfriend! Seriously."

7:45 - "Maybe you should try plunging the toilet. I think that's the only way at this point to get the toilet to flush without filling it back up with water and flooding again. You need to get that water out of the bowl." This fails to work.

7:45 - Renee's solution? "I'm just going to clean up the water and wait for someone else to come home and take care of this."

I can't believe my sister had no idea what to even look at when the toilet flooded. Seriously.

Throughout all of this, I was attempting to make dinner (veggie chili) and do laundry. Let me explain why this is kind of a big deal; the washing machine that our landlord provides in the house is the oldest washing machine I have ever seen. I'm not exaggerating. You know those stores you see sometimes that house old electronic stuff and often have a bunch of old stoves, refrigerators, washers and the like just piled up all willy nilly? Those stores kind of intimidate me. Our washing machine is very much like what you see in those stores.

Anyway, our washing machine also doesn't work quite right. It works, but you have to shut it off, turn the knob to the next thing, and turn it back on. It doesn't go through all the motions on its own. It also makes a TON of noise, especially anytime it is spinning. It kind of shakes the whole house. This freaks my dog out.

Normally, Jack is out, running around, playing, or looking out the window for a cat or squirrel to bark at, but he responds very much to my emotions. If I'm on the phone with Renee and my voice is somewhat frantic, he will lose it a little bit and hide under the bed. The combination of me being somewhat frantic and the washing machine shaking the whole house reduced him to this:

He is as far under the futon as he could possibly be, back against the wall, on a blanket that he must have pulled under there with him. Do please observe that he also took his favorite toy with him on his retreat. It's like his own personal survival kit: a blanket and a toy. It's been about an hour and a half now and I still can't make him get up and come out, which is crazy because he never goes under the futon except for a second if a toy got tossed under it inadvertently. He also very rarely goes this long without being next to me or following me around as any of my friends can tell you. He is a little attached.

I guess he is really upset about Renee's toilet.